I Do Not Fit In - I Fit Out

Monday Musings

I do have the meals for this week planned out and a grocery list written. But I'd have to go all the way to the kitchen to get it the list...and I just can't work up the energy...

Today was a big day in the Pfeiffer family. Lydia headed off to Kindergarten this morning! In the pictures she is smiling...but that was before I dropped her off. I smiled most of the morning...but only did that to hide my tears. Today was a rough day for this Pfeiffer mommy. Saying good-bye to my sweet baby girl was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Much harder than I imagined it (and let me tell you, I imagined it several times).

Last night we got the kiddos in bed before 7:30 (go us!) and we were in bed before 10:00 (go us, again!). But that is where the good routine ended. Saturday night I got hives all down my arms and my back and stomach. But then they went away. I was thinking I rubbed against something that didn't agree with me, no big deal. But then I realized that it was stress causing these hives. Sunday night, my hands started itching, and then my arms. After unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep, I got up and checked out my arms. They were covered in hives. As were my hands, my stomach and my back. They were will a little itchy, but not too bad.

Another hour passes without sleep, so I go to check my hives again (I could swear I could feel them forming). Now the hives had spread to my shoulders and down my legs. I was completely covered! That did not add to the horrible feeling I had about tomorrow morning. When I went back to bed, Brian woke up and I just started sobbing. My precious girl was leaving for Kindergarten tomorrow! How was I going to handle that?! I was so stressed, I broke out in full-body hives - yuck! After some much needed cuddles, I finally drifted off to sleep.

But, last night was the night Gideon decided he'd wake up every two hours! Ahh! How can my precious boy go from sleeping from 7:30pm to 4:30am to waking up every two hours?! I fed him at 10:00 (since I wasn't asleep yet), let him grunt and move around at 12:00 (didn't take him long to put himself back to sleep), fed him again at 2:00 and let him put himself to sleep at 4:00. He woke up talking to himself right before my alarm went off at 5:45, so I went potty and then nursed him back to sleep. He then slept until 8:00. I pray that this night goes better. He hardly napped all day, so he should be good and tired!

Anyway....back to my musings about Monday. Lydia was up early and ready and excited for Kindergarten. Brian got her breakfast and chatted with her while I got ready. I fixed her hair and we waited for Dearest, Best Buddy and Thomas to head over. My dad stayed with Gideon while the rest of us headed off to Lydia's school. Thomas' bus stop is right across the street from Lydia's school, so he tagged along. My mom came along, hoping to catch a glimpse of Abram as well.

We headed into the crowded cafeteria to put Lydia in her class's line on the stage. She went willingly and was excited when she saw Abram. Then it started going down hill. It was so crowded and took so long to get all the kiddos organized, that by the time they finally headed off to the classrooms, Lydia had started crying. Maybe I should have just said good bye there, but I just had to see my girl off to her classroom. She cried the whole way to her classroom, with me following, fighting back tears. We made it to her room and I helped her to her desk. She was sobbing by now (and I almost was, too). I quickly gave her hugs and kisses and told her I loved her. Then I turned my back on her and walked out of the room.

Literally one of the most difficult things I have ever done - leaving Lydia in her Kindergarten classroom while she cried. I stood out in the hallway, wiping tears from my eyes. My mom, who was supposed to be my moral support, also teared up. 

The next hardest thing? Listening to your five-year old crying about not wanting to go back to school! When I picked her up she told me she didn't like school and didn't want to go back tomorrow. If only it was that easy! She started crying and crying when I told her she had to go back. She said it was "boring", that all they did was "sit" and she didn't like that. That recess wasn't long enough and that her teacher had a "mean voice". I wanted to cry all over again and tell her that she never had to go back again. That she could just cuddle with me on the couch forever.

But I was a good mom, and I told her she had to go back. It was her job to go to school. And that tomorrow would be better. Thankfully, by the time Leah stopped by and asked Lydia how her day was, Lydia had a better attitude and said it was good. She still told me tonight that she doesn't want to go back, but she wasn't crying about it.

Please, God, let her enjoy her second day of school! How I wish I could be there with her! This almost makes me want to home-school. But, I know this is what works for our family right now. She will get used to going to school five days a week. It's something we've all done. She can do it!