She's Bluffing. She Cannot Reach The....

Tip Tuesday

I don't have any tips today. Today I need tips. How do I get Lydia to enjoy Kindergarten? I mean, can you really blame her for not wanting to go? She's been home with me for 5 years (and 99% of that time it was just her), she does everything with me, she's rarely away from me for an extended amount of time. And I just expect her to walk into a school building and hang out with people she doesn't know for 7 hours, 5 days a week! Of course she's scared, and nervous, and cries. Of course she says she doesn't want to go. That it's "boring". That the teacher is "mean". Of course she just wants to hang out at home with me and "be lazy". 

This is definitely a tough transition - for both of us. I know it's only the second day, but it's hard. This parenting thing is really, really hard.

I Do Not Fit In - I Fit Out

Monday Musings

I do have the meals for this week planned out and a grocery list written. But I'd have to go all the way to the kitchen to get it the list...and I just can't work up the energy...

Today was a big day in the Pfeiffer family. Lydia headed off to Kindergarten this morning! In the pictures she is smiling...but that was before I dropped her off. I smiled most of the morning...but only did that to hide my tears. Today was a rough day for this Pfeiffer mommy. Saying good-bye to my sweet baby girl was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Much harder than I imagined it (and let me tell you, I imagined it several times).

Last night we got the kiddos in bed before 7:30 (go us!) and we were in bed before 10:00 (go us, again!). But that is where the good routine ended. Saturday night I got hives all down my arms and my back and stomach. But then they went away. I was thinking I rubbed against something that didn't agree with me, no big deal. But then I realized that it was stress causing these hives. Sunday night, my hands started itching, and then my arms. After unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep, I got up and checked out my arms. They were covered in hives. As were my hands, my stomach and my back. They were will a little itchy, but not too bad.

Another hour passes without sleep, so I go to check my hives again (I could swear I could feel them forming). Now the hives had spread to my shoulders and down my legs. I was completely covered! That did not add to the horrible feeling I had about tomorrow morning. When I went back to bed, Brian woke up and I just started sobbing. My precious girl was leaving for Kindergarten tomorrow! How was I going to handle that?! I was so stressed, I broke out in full-body hives - yuck! After some much needed cuddles, I finally drifted off to sleep.

But, last night was the night Gideon decided he'd wake up every two hours! Ahh! How can my precious boy go from sleeping from 7:30pm to 4:30am to waking up every two hours?! I fed him at 10:00 (since I wasn't asleep yet), let him grunt and move around at 12:00 (didn't take him long to put himself back to sleep), fed him again at 2:00 and let him put himself to sleep at 4:00. He woke up talking to himself right before my alarm went off at 5:45, so I went potty and then nursed him back to sleep. He then slept until 8:00. I pray that this night goes better. He hardly napped all day, so he should be good and tired!

Anyway....back to my musings about Monday. Lydia was up early and ready and excited for Kindergarten. Brian got her breakfast and chatted with her while I got ready. I fixed her hair and we waited for Dearest, Best Buddy and Thomas to head over. My dad stayed with Gideon while the rest of us headed off to Lydia's school. Thomas' bus stop is right across the street from Lydia's school, so he tagged along. My mom came along, hoping to catch a glimpse of Abram as well.

We headed into the crowded cafeteria to put Lydia in her class's line on the stage. She went willingly and was excited when she saw Abram. Then it started going down hill. It was so crowded and took so long to get all the kiddos organized, that by the time they finally headed off to the classrooms, Lydia had started crying. Maybe I should have just said good bye there, but I just had to see my girl off to her classroom. She cried the whole way to her classroom, with me following, fighting back tears. We made it to her room and I helped her to her desk. She was sobbing by now (and I almost was, too). I quickly gave her hugs and kisses and told her I loved her. Then I turned my back on her and walked out of the room.

Literally one of the most difficult things I have ever done - leaving Lydia in her Kindergarten classroom while she cried. I stood out in the hallway, wiping tears from my eyes. My mom, who was supposed to be my moral support, also teared up. 

The next hardest thing? Listening to your five-year old crying about not wanting to go back to school! When I picked her up she told me she didn't like school and didn't want to go back tomorrow. If only it was that easy! She started crying and crying when I told her she had to go back. She said it was "boring", that all they did was "sit" and she didn't like that. That recess wasn't long enough and that her teacher had a "mean voice". I wanted to cry all over again and tell her that she never had to go back again. That she could just cuddle with me on the couch forever.

But I was a good mom, and I told her she had to go back. It was her job to go to school. And that tomorrow would be better. Thankfully, by the time Leah stopped by and asked Lydia how her day was, Lydia had a better attitude and said it was good. She still told me tonight that she doesn't want to go back, but she wasn't crying about it.

Please, God, let her enjoy her second day of school! How I wish I could be there with her! This almost makes me want to home-school. But, I know this is what works for our family right now. She will get used to going to school five days a week. It's something we've all done. She can do it!

But You're Getting the Hang of It

Throwback Thursday

Throwback to that time when Lydia was just starting Preschool! Oh my goodness, this seems so long ago!

I was so blessed to be able to stay home with Lydia after she was born. I had worked at a child care center up until I was about 5 months pregnant. I then quit the center to work at home, with Leah, at our home care. A few months later, I had my first miracle child. Lydia grew up with five other babies. They saw each other 5 days a week, about 55 hours each week, for the first 15 months of Lydia's life! Lydia's infant-hood was a lot different than Gideon's has been. She had to be on a feeding schedule right away (no feed-on-demand), she had to be on a sleep schedule right away (couldn't spend 30 minutes rocking her to sleep), and she had 5 best friends from the very beginning. I was able to stay home with my baby and work full-time. It was a blessing.

After about a year and a half of running our own business, Leah and I decided to close up shop. For lots of reasons. One of them being I didn't like working five days, all day. I wanted to be more of a stay-at-home mommy - one who could go on playdates and weekday adventures. Leah was also super pregnant with Adah and decided that she, too, wanted to be more of a stay-at-home mommy. I was once again blessed by quickly getting a job (hey, I have to earn my keep) at our church's preschool. I worked 3 days a week, 4 hours a day as the teacher's assistant. I loved the ladies I worked with, and the kiddos, which is why I didn't mind leaving Lydia those three days. Let me tell you, though, that was hard! I hated saying goodbye to my baby in the mornings.

My second year at the preschool, I became the music teacher. Which means I only have to work once a week! Yippee! I didn't have to leave Lydia as often, plus I could expand my piano lesson business (which was really taking off). I love, love, love teaching music. I should have majored in music in college, but I didn't really think I'd ever make a career out of it. By my third year teaching at the preschool, Lydia was able to join me! She started going to preschool...and was in my music class on Wednesdays. I loved bringing her to work! She knew all the teachers (and was loved by all the teachers) and felt like she owned the place. Although a little hesitant at first at being away from me (especially on Fridays), she grew to love going to preschool.

I have cried at every major milestone of Lydia's. I cried when she moved from the nursery wing to the 2-year old wing at church. And then again when she moved to the wing across the hall when she turned 4. I cried when she started preschool for the first time, and when she started preschool the next year. I teared up when she went to speech therapy. She is my constant companion. We are hardly ever apart. She loves working with the babies in the nursery with my on Sundays. She runs all my errands with me. We cuddle on the couch. If I let her sleep in my bed with me, she would. I hold her and rock her when she's sick. She loves going shopping with me and helping me decide what clothes to buy. I love talking with her, drawing with her, playing games with her.

For five years she has been my constant companion (minus a couple of weekend getaways and mini-vacations). And now, she will be heading off to Kindergarten. It truly is as bittersweet as they say. I am excited for this new chapter in her life, but at the same time, I am sad that she will be away from me most of the day. I wish I could be there to help her navigate the hallways, build friendships, follow directions. I wish I could sit at her desk and help her with her worksheets. I wish I could eat lunch with her everyday and make sure she eats all her food. I wish I could stand beside her and make sure she's not bullied, and make sure she is kind to all her classmates. 

I so wish I could turn back the clock and she could be my sweet little three-year old again. But, she will be off to Kindergarten on Monday. I have to let go. I have to let her make her own choices, her own friends. I have to let her learn how to get from parent drop off to the cafeteria all on her own. She has to learn to speak up for herself, to not be shy or passive. 

I know she will be great. She will be great at Kindergarten, a great friend, a great student. I know that God will watch over my precious baby when I can't.

The teacher had a questionnaire for us to fill out about Lydia. One question was "What unique qualities does your child have?" We asked Lydia this question and her answer: "Jesus". This girl has everything under control.