Are You Certain What You Wish is What You Want?

I just wanted to blog about my day yesterday...and about Lydia, of course.

Yesterday (Saturday), Brian and I both had to wake up at 6:00 with Lydia. Brian had to drive to school to tutor his students. He left around 7:15ish and got back around 11:00. Which left me alone with Lydia in the morning. We both got up early so we could take a shower while one watched Lydia. Usually on Saturdays and Sundays, one of us will get up with Lydia while the other one sleeps in. 

After getting ready, Lydia and I headed off to McDonald's for breakfast. She loves pancakes! She always signs "more" even before she's done with what is in her mouth. She almost ate a whole pancake. She also sampled a hash brown and sipped at apple juice. When we finished, it was almost 8:30, so we didn't have time to go to HEB as planned, but would get to The Little Gym early. Once I made it to Bandera, Lydia was sleeping, so I just kept driving for about 15 minutes and made it to The Little Gym at 8:55.

Lydia loves Gym class! She is now wanting to walk around and explore everything. She looks for my hands, grabs them, and then starts walking, expecting you to follow. She loves the circle time activity (we sang and then walked in a circle) and watching all the other babies. Then we get to explore the Gym on our own. Lydia loves this! She grabbed my hands and headed off. She held onto the low metal bars and started dancing to the music and smiling at the babies. She has a great grip on the high bars. She loves the "cheese" and crawling around on it. She loves just walking around and looking at everything and everyone. She didn't like the "skill of the week", which was to hold onto the high bar and almost flip over. Miss Jenny tried helping her and she got a bit upset - although she smiled at Miss Jenny on our way over. Two weeks ago, she let Miss Jenny help her with a back flip and smiled! We then sat in a circle again and tossed balls around, blew bubbles (Lydia loves bubbles), and sang songs. The Little Gym (though expensive) is so much fun!

I'm hoping Lydia will get over her stranger anxiety with this Gym fun. She's seeing people and babies that she doesn't normally see, and every once in awhile will have to interact with Miss Jenny, the teacher. I hope when she starts walking she'll be willing to explore on her own and not be afraid of the other parents or Miss Jenny. I'm also hoping to meet some new parents, although I'm horrible at starting up conversations and mingling with other people! Blast my shyness!

After The Little Gym, we headed to HEB to get Lydia formula and baby food. She has recently started eating more table food. I gave her some chicken and potatoes the other day and she loved it! But, the baby food is a back up to if she doesn't like the table food or we can't give it to her. After HEB, we came home, I gave her a 4oz bottle, and she fell asleep. She then slept for 3 hours! She was worn out! Brian came home right after I put her down. I then took a 2 hour nap and Brian played his video game. We thought we'd go out to lunch, but when Lydia didn't wake up until 2:00, we decided just to eat at home.

When Lydia finally woke up, we headed off to run our errands. Jasper Fforde's new book, One of Our Thursdays is Missing recently came out so I just had to buy it! I LOVE his books! I am very disappointed in myself for not noticing that he came to Austin a few weeks ago to sign his new book! I saw him 3 years ago and really enjoyed it! As I told Brian last night, I am so glad that I am well-read (thank you AP English), so I get all of Fforde's literature jokes. For example, the "written" Thursday has characters from Crime and Punishment come visit. They can't remember each other's names, who they are, what character does what, etc. I remember when we started reading this book in AP English and my teacher said to keep a list of all the characters handy - with all the variations to their names. Russians go by so many different names! Luckily I listened, or I would have been as lost as the characters in Fforde's book! I love his books mainly because they're about books. Thursday Next can go into books and talk to the characters. In the first book of the series, The Eyre Affair, Edward Rochester jumps out of the book to rescue Thursday, and then she goes into the book to help bring Edward and Jane together at the end! LOVE IT!

Anyway, we also went to Target to get Katie a birthday present and look at above ground pools for our backyard. Then we were off to BabiesRUs to buy a bumper for Lydia's crib - I should have bought one a long time ago. She keeps sticking her arms out of the crib when she sleeps and I'm worried her arms will get stuck! We got the breathable kind, since the reason I didn't get one before is because they don't recommend them for babies (they could suffocate). Then to Michael's. We bought the paper you can print pictures on and iron on to t-shirts for Lydia's birthday outfit.

Then to Katie's birthday! We had a great time and met a lot of new people. Katie had a cook out at my parent's house (both my parents are out of town - don't worry, she got permission). We had hotdogs, hamburgers, and played lots of games! Lydia stayed up until 8:00 - she was in a great mood! I put her to bed upstairs, but she woke up an hour later when the puppies started fighting. She stayed up until we left at 10:00, and then went right to bed when we got home. She woke up at 1:30, but then slept until 6:00. Brian got up with her and she was ready for a nap by 7:30. He came back to bed and she napped until 8:30.

Now we'll be heading to church to help in the nursery, since it's our week and my parent's are gone. This is Lydia's last week in the Bluebonnet Nursery. She'll be moving downstairs to the 9-12 month room next week! I kept her longer upstairs, since my parents work there. I'm not ready for Lydia to grow up...or for this weekend to be over!

Near May Be Better Than Far, But it Still Isn't There

I am so excited! Lydia took two steps today - on her own! She's very good at standing unassisted (she can't get up on her own, she has to pull up or be pulled up). Today she was even standing, wobbled a bit, and steadied herself! I had her standing in front of me and she took a step toward me! Then, I moved her back a bit farther and she took two steps toward me! After that, she thought it was more fun to just stand and then fall forward toward me. But, we will definitely work on this and I am so excited!

We made the coolest cupcakes today! They're called Rainbow Cupcakes! I had them as one of our February activities, since rainbows = leprechauns = St. Patrick's Day. We'll be making "pots of gold" with yellow jell-o next week.

Anyway, to make Rainbow Cupcakes, you just buy a box of white/vanilla cupcake mix (or make your own from scratch, I guess). After you follow the directions on the box, separate the cupcake mix into four (or however many you want; it depends on how many colors you want) containers. Then, add a different color food dye to each container. We just used pink, blue, orange (we mixed yellow and pink/red), and green. Of course, you can get more creative and make lots of different colors by mixing them. Then, one by one, put the different colored cupcake mixes into the cupcake pan. Put the mix into the oven, bake, and ta-da - a rainbow in a cupcake pan!

We had the kiddos pour the ingredients and then stir. Toddlers love to bake! The other week we made home-made playdough (very fun!) and banana bread. Now that the kiddos are between 17 and 22 months, they can do and understand so much! We just have to constantly say, "Don't touch it, yet"...or they'll put their hands into everything! I only had one kiddo who immediately reached out and touched the cupcake mix, but only after a few reminders, he left it alone. It's always important to explain exactly what we're doing as we do a cooking activity. Saying, "Okay, now it's A's turns to stir, then it will be B's turn." Or, "Now it's time to pour in the water, who wants to carefully pour the water?" I give each ingredient a name, instead of just handing each item to the child. I also try to get the kiddos involved as much as possible. I always let them stir everything together, but I usually end up making sure it's thoroughly stirred after they each have a turn.

Cooking introduces sensory (touch of the batter, the spoon, the color of the mixture, what an egg feels like), fine motor (pouring in the ingredients, stirring the batter), and science (what happens when you crack open an egg or stir in food coloring?). Also, the end product tastes yummy, and the kiddos are very pleased with themselves when they get to taste what they made! Cooking is a fun, easy project to do with your child, at any age!

Giants Never Strike the Same House Twice

Spring Break is pretty much over - just Saturday and Sunday left. Of course, it wasn't a real Spring Break for me...I worked full time this week. The kiddos' parents didn't get Spring Break (supposedly...we figured out that a few didn't work), so we didn't get one either. Luckily, we only had all 5 kiddos on Monday. Tuesday we had 4, all but one was gone by 4:30...the one stayed until after 6. Wednesday we were supposed to have 4, but ended up with 3, so Leah took the afternoon off. Thursday we only had 3, so I took part of the day off (I worked about 1.5 hours in the morning, and 2 in the afternoon. Today, we thought we'd end up with all 5, but managed to only have 4...although all were gone by 4:30, except one...who stayed until after 6.

Brian and Lydia were able to enjoy their Spring Break! I was very happy to see how much Lydia enjoyed being with her Daddy. Brian and Lydia don't have much time to spend one-on-one. On the weekends, we like to do things all together, as a family. It was nice that Brian got to have a chance to take care of Lydia, making sure she had everything she needed. Being the controlling, crazy mother that I am, I wrote out directions for Brian the first two days. I wrote out the times that she needed to eat, and the exact foods she needed to eat. I also wrote out to change her diaper and not to give her milk or strawberries! The first day, Brian didn't follow the instructions. I knew Lydia was fine, but I'm always worried that she doesn't get enough to eat or drink. The second day, Brian followed all the instructions! And by the third day, he didn't need written instructions anymore! I asked Brian if he enjoyed watching Lydia and he said "Yes" with a big smile on his face. He loves being the person Lydia wants and being in charge of her needs. Of course, he had lots of help from my family, but he did a great job on his own!

Spring Break Day 1 - Cave Without a Name

The group - my parents, little brother, cousin, nephew, grandfather, husband and baby - left around 9:00 to head off to Boerne and go spelunking in the Cave Without a Name. We bought Lydia a backpack for Brian to carry her in. She loves it! And, Brian loved it too. It was much easier carrying her around on his back than just carrying her. She was also able to nap in the backpack!

The cave explorers had a lot of fun walking around the cave. They then went to Uncle Bernies ice cream place to enjoy ice cream and relax after their exploring. They came back home around 5:00ish. Lydia had a great time!

Spring Break Day 2 - Enchanted Rock

The main reason we purchased the backpack for Lydia was for hiking up Enchanted Rock. Just about every summer we visited Texas, my family always went up Enchanted Rock. My mom can remember my dad and her carrying Leah and me up Enchanted Rock in backpacks! Enchanted Rock was the place to be on Tuesday of Spring Break! Everyone waited in line for 2 hours in order to get into the park! They had a 2 hour delayed start, but still ate lunch and then hiked up Enchanted Rock.

I was worried about the hot weather, the sun, and needing water for Lydia. But, after telling Brian over and over to give her water and put sunscreen on her, she had a great time. Brian said Lydia preferred to drink out of his Nalgene than to drink from her sippy cup! She even wore her hat the whole time! They hiked all the way up to the top, stayed for a few hours, and then hiked over to the Rooster's Rock (or whatever it's called). They were definitely gone much longer than I had thought.

I got off work at 6:00, ran, took a shower, ate dinner, watched WAR AND PEACE (with Audrey Hepburn - didn't finish it), and then finally my baby and my husband came home! At 9:00!! Lydia is always in bed by 6:00! Luckily, even though she slept all the way from Fredericksburg, she was able to go right to sleep and slept most of the night. Of course, despite going to bed 3 hours later than usual (and hiking), she still woke up at 6:00 in the morning!

Spring Break Day 3 - Downtown

Day 3 didn't start until after 2:00. My parents volunteered at BSF Headquarters, ran a few errands, and then were ready to head downtown to the Pearl Brewery for a tour. I let Leah get off work at 11:30 to get ready to head out. She also went to get her haircut at La Cantera. I only had 3 kiddos until 2:30, then I only had 2. It was an easy day.

Lydia headed off with Aunt Leah, Uncle Jessie and my parents around 3:00. They toured the Pearl Brewery, then walked all the way to Schilo's to drink Root Beer and eat sausage, then walked all the way back! Leah said it was a lot of walking!

I got off work at 5:30, ran, took a shower, went to Walgreens to pick up photos, then waited for the family to get back. We had dinner of Schlotzkys and Whataburger on our back porch. Lydia went to bed at almost 8:00 that night!

Spring Break Day 4 - Aquarena Springs

Finally I got to join in on some Spring Break fun! I went to work from 6:45 to about 8:45. Leah came out around 8:00, but I had to wait until my parents came to pick us up. Brian hung out with us while we waited. Leah ended up only have 2 kiddos that day!

We headed out at 8:45 for San Marcos! Brian and I were able to think back about our times at Texas State. We enjoyed pointing things out to people, and marveled at the changes! We went to the Phoenix Rising bakery to pick up some yummy bread, then to the Wood Castle Park (that's what I call it) to play and eat. We were also waiting for the clouds to go away - they didn't.

We then headed off to Aquarena Springs to go on the glass bottom boats! Unfortunately, mom and dad's Groupons didn't work over Spring Break, but they still gave them a deal. We were able to look at the aquarium while we waited, then got to enjoy to the boat ride. Brian and I have been on the boats several times, but it was Lydia's first time (and Katie's and Chris'). Lydia was very busy the whole ride. She wanted to look down at the water, then out the window, then play with Katie's coffee mug, then play with grandma's camera, then back at the water.... She's a very busy girl! We weren't able to walk up behind the springs, because it was closed, but we walked the marsh area and had a good time.

We went to KFC for lunch, and brought it to the San Marcos river to have a picnic - yummy! The sun, of course, finally came out! We then went to Tanger Outlets and braved the crowds to go shopping. I, of course, went to the Carter's store and bought Lydia an Easter dress and a cute day outfit. I could have shopped in that store a long time! We headed home at 2:30.

I got back to work before 4:00 and stayed until 6:00, when our last kiddo left. Lydia finally went to bed on time!

Spring Break Day 5 - Magnolia House and Putt-Putt

Brian was able to get some chores done this morning before heading off to brunch at the Magnolia House. They had to wait an hour to get in, but managed to eat some yummy pancakes! Lydia has recently started eating pancakes and loves them..although more usually ends up on the floor.than in her tummy.

After brunch, the group went Putt-Putting! Brian said that Lydia loved watching everyone and held onto the club! Even though he didn't win, Brian had a good time. They were back by 3:30 and Lydia was in a great mood. AND, guess what?! Today Lydia's right top tooth has finally broken through!! Very exciting!

Daddy took Lydia home at 5:45 to give her a bath and put her in bed. I got off work at 6:00 and was able to run before dinner and catching up on our TV shows (Community, Glee and Bones!).

Tomorrow Leah, mom and I head off to Austin to go to Jodi Picoult's book signing. Leah is a huge fan. I have read MY SISTER'S KEEPER (the movie is definitely not as good as the book!) and the one about the girl with brittle bone disease. Jodi Picoult isn't my favorite author, but I love hearing authors talk about their books! A few years ago, I got to see Jasper Fforde speak and it was awesome!

Brian and my dad are watching Lydia while I'm gone. We also get to pick up Lydia's "old fashioned" photos tomorrow - very excited!

Opportunity Is Not a Lengthy Visitor

As a first time mom, I love getting advice from just about everyone. My sister, Leah, had worked with infants for about 5 years by the time Lydia was born. She was chock full of information on how to feed, diaper, and make a schedule for your infant. My mom, a mother of 6 kids, knew a lot about babies, as well. Although, she claims, she forgot how "tough" they are...she only remembers the good parts. I read up about babies in What To Expect books, I bought Suppernanny's baby how-to book, I am constantly on babycenter.com reading how other moms are dealing with their babies.  So, despite being a first time mom, I was, I thought, a prepared first time mom. I had tons of support from my family on how to deal with anything from crying, nursing, diapering, the proper way to hold a baby - everything. Leah had her opinions on how to handle a fussy baby, while my mom had hers. 

It's been a little over 9 months since Lydia was born. Despite my ability to allow Lydia to suck on a pacifier that fell on the floor (without cleaning it first) and allowing her to try all types of table foods (from pancakes to French Fries), I still find myself a "paranoid", "controlling" first time mom. When I send Lydia off to BSF, I pack a list of instructions for her teachers and my mom on when to feed her, how much, and any other specific directions I have. When I leave her with my mom for a few hours, I always give detailed instructions on what Lydia needs and when she needs it, and how to go about giving it to her. I stress about her getting enough food now that she's refusing to nurse and refuses most formula bottles. I get upset when she gets hurt. I still immediately pick her up if she starts fussing. When Lydia's not with me, I stress about how she's doing and if she's behaving. And recently, I'm stressing about her diaper rash (something she never had when she was younger).

I'm proud of myself, as a first time mom, for not stressing too much about the little things - such as, I buy used clothes, use hand-me-downs, buy used toys and strollers, etc. I let Lydia eat Sherbet, French Fries, Cinnamon graham crackers, etc. But, at the same time, I'm still your typical first time mom. The other day, Lydia was being fussy and making me frustrated. Leah took her from me, which caused Lydia to scream. I tried taking her from Leah, but Leah said "She's okay"....and, of course, eventually got Lydia settled down. Hearing her fuss and cry still makes me upset. I can't go to sleep without checking on Lydia several times first. I constantly turn the monitor up a little louder, so I can hear Lydia. I pull the car over to get Lydia her pacifier when she starts screaming in the car and we're by ourselves.

I love mommy-hood. I just wonder if I'll be this paranoid and stressed over my next child, or children. Will I always be worried about my "babies", does that ever go away? How will I react when Lydia goes to Kindergarten? When she starts driving?! Mommy-hood has it's wonderful benefits, but also it's downside - stress and worry!

If The End is Right, It Justifies the Beans!

It has almost been one month since Lydia last nursed. It's been one day since Lydia last had her taste of breast milk. Part of me is relieved - I feel free. I have my body back to myself, Lydia is independent of me (partly), she can eat jarred food and snacks to sustain her (mostly). But part of me is sad - my baby no longer "needs" me. I so enjoyed nursing Lydia and am glad I lasted so long - many women don't. I wanted to be able to pump enough for her, but then I'd be pumping all the time. I rarely got more than 4oz at a time, when I only pumped 4 or 5 hours apart. When I pumped only 1 or 2 hours apart, I got only 1 or 2oz. 

I slowly weaned Lydia off the breast milk, just as I slowly weaned my body to produce no more milk. I added more and more formula and less and less breast milk to her bottles. I went from pumping 4 times a day, to 3, to 2, to 1. This morning I didn't pump - and I survived! She drinks about three bottles a day - at 7:00, 12:30, and 6:00. Today she didn't want her morning bottle, and only drank 1oz of her afternoon bottle. She drank about 3oz of her night time bottle, and I will give the rest to her in a "dream feed".

It's been a little over a week since I started the Special K diet. I had to "modify" the diet, though. I couldn't stand starving myself during the day. Lydia wasn't nursing so I was stressed, the kiddos are stressful, my life is buy and I was HUNGRY! I have the Special K cereal in the morning, a Special K snack at 9:00, a somewhat light lunch at 11:00, a Special K snack at 2:00, an apple at 4:00, and dinner at 6:30 or 7:00. I don't snack in between like I used to, I don't have ice cream or chocolate like I used to. I have already lost a little over 2 pounds! I run/walk for 20 minutes still. I need to try to go a bit longer, but I'm usually hungry since it's so late at night. But, that's the only time I have to exercise - after Lydia's in bed.

Lydia fell and got her first bloody nose this morning. She can stand up on her own from sitting in the little blue chair - she thinks she's so funny and big! She was standing and I was rather far away, but clapped my hands and told her "good job!" She got so excited, she wanted to come to me. I started walking toward her, but she went forward before I could get to her. She hit her face on the floor. I hurried to her and picked her up. She was quite upset. At first, I didn't notice the bloody nose, until I saw it on my shirt. I tried to clean it up on my own (without Leah's help - she was in the bathroom with one of the kiddos, potty training). I saw the blood and my upset baby and knew I needed Leah's help. I hurried her to the bathroom and told Leah what happened. Leah immediately took the paper towel from me, tipped Lydia's head back a bit and held the tower to her nose. Lydia screamed and screamed while I held her. We got the blood to stop flowing and I calmed Lydia down. I was very thankful to have Leah around. I have a hard time dealing with my baby getting hurt - it makes me upset, as well.